I read a review somewhere (my baby brain will not allow me to remember the source) and Would It Kill You To Stop Doing That? by Henry Alford sounded like I would be learning…modern manners. Like, what should I do if someone is nasty on an email or on Facebook? You know, modern problems. Well this book wasn’t the typical “dos” and “don’ts” of proper etiquette. Alford’s meaty part of the book is advice to 23 different “commonly overlooked unpleasantries” that a group of people submitted to him. He then answered them in 14 pages. The book is 231 pages long. I wanted MORE. Like a list or something. So, it got me thinking and I do want to point out my personal pet peeves and make my own list because I consider myself the Queen of Manners (I kid! But I was once told that I apologize too much…well, I’m sorry for that). Here is my list of what I think are “unpleasantries”.
1. People going in and out of apartment building elevators and not acknowledging others. Or passing people in your apartment building halls and not saying hello. Major rudeness! This is #2 in Alford’s 14 pages of unpleasantries. WE are neighbors people!!
2. Assuming that the mother you meet at the park is the child’s nanny. This has happened to me. Hmmm…because I speak Spanish to my kids? Let’s just hope it’s because I look young (still wrong)! This is #5 for Alford.
3. Obnoxious people yelling at the screen at the movie theater. People using their cell phones at the movie theater. We have phones that light up whole rooms now! #12 for Alford.
4. Not RSVPing. I thought only Mexicans avoided the RSVP, “Why would I RSVP? Claro que the 7 of us will be there!” Nope. Not just us Mexicans. Everyone needs that second evite reminder or that awkward phone call. #18 for Alford.
5. Ooooh! When people reply “maybe” to an evite!!! I just threw that one in there.
That is what I agree with Mr. Alford. Maybe the other 19 unpleasantries haven’t happened to me or I think don’t happen too often (example: do not assume a woman is pregnant…doesn’t everyone know that?). He shares a lot of funny personal stories, he writes about his experience in Japan (the country of manners) and he even made himself to be a sort of Dear Abby on his Facebook and let readers in on his advice to things such as, “Is it okay to raid someone’s pantry when you are cat sitting?” and so on. But I will like to continue to share with you some other examples I personally consider rude.
6. People who interrupt others in a conversation. I am guilty of this and have been working on it. It’s not like I feel that what I have to say is more important. I just have a lot to say… (shying away now).
7. Sales clerks, bank tellers, cashiers, and baristas not saying hello. Worse: when they are talking to co-workers the whole time you are buying something-from THEM!
8. Customers who interrupt a sales person taking care of me! Wait your turn!
9. People who litter. Privately or publicly. I can’t believe when I am walking or driving behind someone and I have to avoid getting splashed by their left over soda pop!
10. People who don’t pick up the dog poop. I couldn’t wait to leave the city because of this reason. Not only were we dodging major traffic, pedestrians, litter, kids on scooters, AND we still had to avoid stepping into smoldering piles of poop. RUDE.
One more that happened a lot in Chicago but not in the East Coast (maybe I’m not so cute anymore). Piropos: When men feel it is okay to whistle, holler, and make obscene gestures at women passing by. Grosero!
Rant over. Those are my pet peeves. I would love to write a post about children and manners but I must tread carefully as I am on top of my boys DAILY on table manners and yet I can’t get them to use a napkin! I won’t give up though! I wonder if Henry Alford would write a funny book on kids and manners. Hmmm?
Would love to hear about what you consider to be rude. Comment below please.
xoxo
When you let a car go in front of your car and that person doesn’t bother to wave their hand and say thanks! Grrrr……something so simple!
– When people don’t respond to an email. I have recently been guilty of this. But, I think it’s mostly because, as of lately, I’ve fallen victim to it so many times.
-When people look over your shoulder…especially at the Super market while you’re in line, I hate when people stare at my bill.
-Most importantly, when people don’t acknowledge your presence and just stare instead. A smile would suffice… I always try to smile every time I make eye contact with someone.
-When people don’t apologize for or hold themselves accountable for the actions of their children. I always remind my daughter to say excuse me and respect others. Of course kids will be kids from time to time and that’s ok. But, an “I’m sorry” or “excuse me” from another parent would be nice.
-AND… I agree with Heather…I hate it when other drivers or pedestrains don’t wave or acknowledge me when I let them go first.
Oh and I totally agree with #8… I really, really hate it when other customers interrupt a salesperson who is helping you. It’s so rude!
This drives me nuts, when parents at school take two parking spots when picking up their kids from school, and when they see you trying o fit on the spot they won’t move, worst of all is when you ask politely if they could move a few feet forward so your car can fit, they say No! It already happend to me three times and I think it’s so rude, first time it happend to me I literally cried I could not believe a mother would be so rude to me Hello!! I will see your face everyday don’t you feel a shame of your self or a bit inbarrest to be so rude and mean, then the last two times it happend it did not surprised me and I tried not to let me bother, it hurts but some people just dont care about nobody but themselves.
This hasn’t happened to me Nancy, but I saw it happen to someone else at school! Unbelievable!! Thanks for sharing!
Betty
When I’m talking or telling a story and the other person is filling in “my words” with what they think I’m going to say! “No!!!! That’s not what I was going to say, so STOP anticipating my words & listen to what I have to say!!!!!”
Ha! I hope I’m not one of them!